<<silently>>\n<<set $horse_have = "yes">>\n<<set $horse_spec="Carolina Coffinbreath">>\n<<endsilently>>\nSure, the Carolina Coffinbreath. Consistently the choice of all the top international Horse Masters, achieving Horse Mastery with a "Coffer" would mark you as a bold new talent operating at the highest skill level of all Horse Masters. \n\nTheir coloration is always a deep black such as devours all light striking it. They normally stand no taller than 16 hands, but grow elaborate flared carapaces that intimidate all other breeds.\n\nThere's no way Dad would ever have purchased a premium breed like a Coffer. But he's not here.\n\n[[That's the horse I came for and that's the horse I asked for.|Factory Showroom]]\n[[Whoa, that's not what I meant...|Specs]]\n

It's finally your turn, but the computer you get access to has dead ports. [[You wait another hour for a turn on the other computer.|Right Computer]]

You are running for the ballroom doors before the winner is crowned. \n\nThis was a nationally televised event. Your debts, outstanding, flaunted in the face of every rich bad man and now no more <<print $horse_name>> to maybe buy you back out of it. \n\nYou run and run. Your shoes are impractical. You lose them. Your gown is impractical. Let it be impractical.\n\nSomeday the last of the dexy will wear off, but until then you are fast.\n\nWet feet on pavement, the chorus of cicadas its own applause.\n\n[[End]]

The salesman enters from the far set of double doors. He's chuckling at his private joke and wiping his still wet fingers on his damp tie.\n\n"Sheena says she's never heard of a <<if $horse_spec eq "Carolina Coffinbreath">>Carolina Coffinbreath<<endif>><<if $horse_spec eq "Europa Trotter">>Europa Trotter<<endif>><<if $horse_spec eq "Furioso-Hellfist">>Furioso-Hellfist<<endif>> with specs like this before, but it's not outside the scope of the theoretical musculature load." He sniffs, "Frankly, I've been in the horse business for 18 years and I think you're just showing off. Grow a horse to these levels—well it's like you aren't taking these noble animals seriously." \n\n[[You are not impressed by his lack of vision.|Salesman 2]]

Horse Master Competition\n\nYou and <<print $horse_name>> start walking before dawn and arrive at the Comfort Inn West a little before nine. \n\nIt is a humid morning and mist comes up off the grounds. The sprinklers hiss to life and <<print $horse_name>> is startled for a second.\n\nThere are banners welcoming the 86th Annual Southwestern Region Horse Master Championship Gala on every lightpost for miles around.\n\n[[You realize your posture is stooping forward and remind yourself you need to focus on standing up straight for the judges.|Registration]]\n\nYou lead <<print $horse_name>> into the registration line. Aethelwulf, Chablis, Sumptualisk, Broudevard, all the major Houses will be present for the competition itself, but this early are only represented by sponsorship signs on the lawn. \n

Night <<print $day>>\n[img[alleydaydone.png]]\n\nThere's enough dexy still in your blood stream that you wind up not really sleeping. <<print $horse_name>> does not understand why it is not at home. Every noise spooks it and it bleats and whinnies no matter how hard you try to calm it. You make it a bed of a sort on some garbage bags and cover it with more. This is the wrong neighborhood to have a horse at night. \n\nYou just wish there was some way to communicate to <<print $horse_name>> that this is only a temporary setback. [[You've made it this far, you just have to make it a few more days.|Alley Day]]\n\n<<set $horse_glamour = $horse_glamour-1>>\n<<set $horse_uncanny = $horse_uncanny-1>>\n<<set $horse_pep = $horse_pep-1>>\n<<set $horse_realness = $horse_realness-1>>\n<<set $horse_discretion = $horse_discretion-1>>\n<<set $you_hunger = 3>>\n<<set $horse_hunger =3>>\n<<set $day_action = 2>>\n<<set $day = $day + 1>>\n<<set $library_visit = "no">>

Day <<print $day>>\n<<silently>>\n<<set $bonus1 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*4))+1>>\n<<set $bonus2 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*3))+1>>\n<<endsilently>>\nGrandeur has a deep caramel musk. Your horse could be equally at home in the board room or in a limousine.\nGlamour +<<print $bonus1>>\nDiscretion +<<print $bonus2>>\n[[And rinse.|Day]]\n<<set $horse_glamour = $horse_glamour + $bonus1>>\n<<set $horse_discretion = $horse_discretion + $bonus2>>

Dressage\n\nAnd with a simple gesture, <<print $horse_name>> performs the trick you have practiced hundreds of times — it drops the uneaten finger into your waiting palm.\n\nThe nine-fingered judges applaud. \n\n[[Cotillion]]

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Dressage\n\nWith one swift movement, you sever your left pinkie finger.\n\nYou place the finger in front of <<print $horse_name>> and [[wait.|Dressage 3]]\n\n

Dressage\n\nThe blood and meat attract <<print $horse_name>>, but at the moment it bends to eat the finger, you blow the silver whistle for it to [[halt.|Dressage 4]]\n\n

Yet, it's not a problem. The hotel medical staff is amply prepared for the competition and you won't be the only rib-thin hopeful to have misplaced a supply.\n\nThen, porters lead <<print $horse_name>> to the stables. They chain it down with heavy iron links, but your hand on its face is enough to calm it mostly.\n\nThis will be the first time you are apart for more than a few minutes since it was born. You have to clean up for the opening gala and cotillion.\n\nAlso: [[a minifridge full of chilled dexobrimadine.|Hotel Dexy]]\n

Day <<print $day>>\n<<silently>><<set $day_action=$day_action-1>><<set $lifter = (Math.floor(Math.random()*6))+1>><<endsilently>>\n<<if $lifter gt 3>>You are totally successful shoplifting some food from a giant corporate grocery store store. None of the dozing register clerks can muster the energy to make eye contact, much less stop you. [[You have food.|Food Divvy]]<<endif>><<if $lifter eq 3>>You are barely successful shoplifting some food from a nearby convenience store. The clerk shouted, "Hey!" and you didn't look back. You ran, and you ran. Made it. [[You have food.|Food Divvy]]<<endif>><<if $lifter eq 2>>You are unsuccessful shoplifting some food, but are luckily not arrested. You probably can't go back to that grocery store anytime soon. [[You still have no food.|Alley Day]]<<endif>><<if $lifter eq 1>>You are unsuccessful shoplifting some food and are arrested. [[You are put in a holding cell.|Prison End]]<<endif>>

<<if $day eq 1>>The little blue sphere burst in the tub. Diluted nutrient gravy gives the water a bluish hue. Your little horse uses its cilia to push itself around your bathtub.<html><br/></html> You'll be showering in the sink until your horse can breathe on its own in a couple days. <<endif>><<if $day eq 2>>You're up before dawn to check the readouts from the first day. Those numbers up above are right where they should be on an overall efficiency curve. You dip your hand in the tub to do a physical check on your horse. No bifida, no unsealed clefts.<html><br/></html>The nutrient gravy makes your hand smell like artificial banana flavoring.<<endif>><<if $day eq 3>><<print $horse_name>> is now a pupa. It skitters around your carpet, pouncing on dust bunnies. It naps a lot, puffing tiny snores out of its spiracles.<<endif>><<if $day eq 4>><<print $horse_name>> has a budding carapace on its head and you can already see small whorls that will eventually form its unique individual patterning like a human fingerprint.<html><br/></html>It practice rams against your ankle every spare moment.<<endif>><<if $day eq 5>><<print $horse_name>> is the size of a smallish dog but is surprisingly heavy. There are hundreds of of pounds of potential muscle coils inside it, waiting to knit and grow.<<endif>><<if $day eq 6>>Until today, <<print $horse_name>> has excreted all waste through its collocytic pores. Now, though, it's grunting and sitting constantly, meaning it wants to excrete its first bowel movement, but can't fully expand and contract its anus without help.<html><br/></html>In the wild, the mother can easily do this with one of her special grooming tentilla. You, however, must do careful work with a cotton swab and pinkie finger until the fecal head begins to emerge. Congratulations. <<endif>><<if $day eq 7>>You began <<print $horse_name>>'s operant conditioning a few days ago in subtle ways, but today you begin work with the silver whistle. <html><br/></html>Good behavior earns a pleasing melody and a treat. Bad behavior? A low tone and the withholding of eye contact.<<endif>><<if $day eq 8>>Thanks to the dexobrimadine, you are able to move so fast that you only dislocate your thumb stopping <<print $horse_name>>'s powerful hooves from caving in your skull. You play a low tone and wrap the thumb in tape.<<endif>><<if $day eq 9>>You discover <<print $horse_name>> shat on your warm coat in the night.<html><br/></html>You play a low tone on the whistle. Enzymes in the horsewaste melted much of the lining and the stench takes hours to dissipate.<html><br/></html>You won't need a winter coat when you're a Horse Master. You'll never be cold again.<<endif>><<if $day eq 10>>You wake up early to vomit a little. It's muddy gray. <html><br/></html><<print $horse_name>> doesn't wake up. <html><br/></html>You have sleep's awful certainty that your horse has died in the night. Then you see its chest rise and fall again.<<endif>><<if $day eq 11>><<print $horse_name>> is already so large, and hardly halfway grown. It's unclear how large a horse would live and grow if they weren't raised for competition.<<endif>><<if $day eq 12>>You realize your apartment is covered in the coarse hairs that <<print $horse_name>> keeps growing and shedding. The hair clings to itself like velcro and stays warm hours after leaving the follicle. You gather together almost two garbage bags of hair puffs while <<print $horse_name>> watches.<<endif>><<if $day eq 13>>When it flexes, the skin of <<print $horse_name>>'s haunches becomes translucent. You can see wet dark red musculature. Taut. Ready. You could whistle the pleasing melody all day in gratitude.<<endif>><<if $day eq 14>>First thing in the morning there is a knock on the door and you do not know what to do. So you hide. The knock repeats and you clamp your hands over <<print $horse_name>>'s snout and will it not to make noise and try to not breathe yourself (even though you are in all-consuming panic).<html><br/></html>Whoever it was leaves. So okay.<<endif>><<if $day eq 15>>You lose yourself in running your fingers through <<print $horse_name>>'s [[mane|Mane]]. You are aware of just the sunlight, your breathing, and the gentle pull of the mane on your fingers.<<endif>><<if $day eq 16>>DAY ONE<<endif>><<if $day eq 17>>DAY ONE<<endif>><<if $day eq 18>>DAY ONE<<endif>><<if $day eq 19>>DAY ONE<<endif>><<if $day eq 20>>DAY ONE<<endif>>

<<silently>>\n<<set $horse_stat = "1">>\n<<endsilently>>\nYour horse isn't blue, of course. The blue comes from the foamy nutrient gravy. Suspended within it, the size of a pinky knuckle, is the slumbering larva of your horse, freshly struck from the egg sac of its queen's papal dome. \n\n<html><em>You will have had hefted it and it will be warm and round in a perfect way—</em></html>\n\nThe music ends. You are still staring at the blue sphere on the fully extended column.\n\nEven though there are no other customers on the showroom floor, it's clear the salesman is impatient for you to leave.\n\n[[Take your horse.|Take Horse]]

-=HORSE MASTER=- The Game of Horse Mastery

Day <<print $day>>\n<<if $day_action eq 3>>\n[img[apartmentday]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 2>>\n[img[apartmentday2]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 1>>\n[img[apartmentdusk]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 0>>\n[img[apartmentdaydone]]\n<<endif>>\n\n<<display "Horse Stats">>\n<<if $day_action eq 0>>There's nothing left you can do for your horse today. \n[[Hang dexobrimadine drip and try to sleep|Night]]<<endif>><<if $day_action gt 0>><<display "DayText">>\nYou have <<print 21-$day>> day<<if $day lt 20>>s<<endif>> until the Horse Master Competition. You have <<print $day_action>> action<<if $day_action gt 1>>s<<endif>> left today.\n<<display "Base Actions">>\n<<endif>>\n

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The glow of the PayPalm flares and then fades. The salesman takes the simple pane back from you and clicks his tongue. The two of you watch the [[clucking propaganda|Propaganda2]] for a few minutes. He never offers you coffee. \n\n<<if $showroom_wait eq "yes">>\nTheres a short 8-bit fanfare [Play "Horse Master (Theme from Horse Master)"] to cover up the whirring sound as a rotating cylinder rises from the floor. On top of the cylinder, illuminated from below, is a [[blue sphere|Blue Sphere]].\n<<endif>>

Night 19\t\n\nThe few high-end boutiques that still exist in physical storefronts keep nightclub hours. No one who can afford to shop there is awake during daylight hours. Those who can afford it are much more unthinking at spending [[thousands of dollars on a single unmatched sandal at 3 a.m.|Couture Heist 2]]\n\n

<<if $day eq 17>>The dexy has worn off enough that you start trembling and don't stop all night long. <<print $horse_name>> gets jostled awake and spends most of the night pacing around you in a circle. It just keeps growing. It would have trouble standing in your old apartment now. [[You'll both be okay.|Alley Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 18>>Your eyes water. Your nose runs. Horses used to be different. Horse mastering used to be different. Your father was sure he would be in the last generation to master horses, but these things persist. If it could speak, would <<print $horse_name>> think of you as a friend? [[Think of what you've lived through together.|Alley Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 19>>You're exhausted, but there's no time to sleep tonight. To stand any chance of success in the Horse Master Competition, you'll have to be dressed to overwhelm. You're still wearing the same pajamas you were evicted in. Your unfinished handmade competition gown was lost in your haste to flee your apartment. The best you can hope for now is a successful [[Couture Heist.|Couture Heist]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 20>>You shower under the hose after all the businesses close. The rats regard you from a fearful distance. Morning means the [[Horse Master Competition]]. Tomorrow you'll at least have a hotel room. Then you'll win and never worry again.<<endif>>

Day <<print $day>>\n<<if $day_action eq 3>>[img[alleydaydone]]<<endif>>\n\n<<if $horse_name neq "horse">>Name: <<print $horse_name>><html><br/></html><<endif>>Breed: <<print $horse_spec>>\nAge: <<print $day>>\nGrowth Phase: <<print $horse_phase>>\nGlamour: 404 ERROR - NOT FOUND\nUncanny: 404 ERROR - NOT FOUND\nPep: 404 ERROR - NOT FOUND\nRealness: 404 ERROR - NOT FOUND\nDiscrection: 404 ERROR - NOT FOUND\n\n[[You were evicted.|Eviction]] You and <<print $horse_name>> are in an alley behind a failing strip mall. You are exposed. \n\nYou only have <<print 21-$day>> day<<if $day lt 20>>s<<endif>> until the Horse Master Competition. You spent all of your actions trying to [[find food today|Old Buns]] and still have to go hungry. \n\n[[You are ashamed at how bad you fucked up, but have to try to sleep, or you'll be too tired to try to find food tomorrow.|Alley Night 1]]

Day <<print $day>>\n\nYou press CTRL+ALT+H on your keyboard. The macro triggers each of the actions in the optimum order for horse growth.\nYup.\n[[This is the work.|Day]]\n\n<html><strong>-=MAX COMBO!=-</strong></html>\nGlamour +6\nUncanny +6\nPep +6\nRealness +6\nDiscretion +6\n<<set $day_action=$day_action-3>>\n<<set $horse_glamour = 6+$horse_glamour>>\n<<set $horse_uncanny = 6+$horse_uncanny>>\n<<set $horse_pep = 6+$horse_pep>>\n<<set $horse_realness = 6+$horse_realness>>\n<<set $horse_discretion = 6+$horse_discretion>>

[[Mane is a misnomer.|Day]] The bundle of long prehensile tentilla emerging from behind the carapace that is called the mane was a surprise byproduct from the Fourth Evolutionary Improvement on the Foundational Horse Formulae (FHF).

<<set $horse_name = "Tester">>\n<<set $horse_spec="Unicorn">>\n<<set $day = 21>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Adult">>\n<<set $day_action=3>>\n<<set $horse_glamour = 100>>\n<<set $horse_uncanny = 100>>\n<<set $horse_pep = 100>>\n<<set $horse_realness = 100>>\n<<set $horse_discretion = 100>>\n\n\n

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Day <<print $day>>\n<<if $day_action eq 3>>\n[img[alleyday1]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 2>>\n[img[alleyday2]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 1>>\n[img[alleydaydusk]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 0>>\n[img[alleydaydone]]\n<<endif>>\n\nYou set the food units in front of <<print $horse_name>> and step quickly away to avoid being mauled. You watch it eat and try to enjoy the eating vicariously. [[It sort of works.|Alley Day]]\n\n<<set $you_hunger = $you_hunger + 1>>\n<<set $horse_hunger = $horse_hunger - 2>>\n<<set $bonus1 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*4))+1>>\n<<set $bonus2 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*3))+1>>\n<<set $horse_realness = $horse_realness + $bonus1>>\n<<set $horse_discretion = $horse_discretion + $bonus2>>

<<silently>>\n<<set $horse_have = "yes">>\n<<set $horse_spec = "Furioso-Hellfist">>\n<<endsilently>>\nRight! The Furioso-Hellfist. The breed is an oaky amber in coloration with limited markings and is known for an arrogant gait. They regularly stand as tall as 18 hands and can expect a long life.\n\nThe first horse you ever assisted mastering (when you were only 8!) was a Furioso-Hellfist and this is why you can't raise your left arm over your shoulder. His name was Cruel Saunders.\n\n[[That's right, that's the horse I ordered|Factory Showroom]]\n[[Wait, that's not the horse I asked for...|Specs]]

Cotillion\n\n<<print $horse_name>> never whinnies or screams when your small knife severs its main nervous bundle.\n\nThis is an excellent sign, judging-wise.\n\nA thin pink line of drool drips from <<print $horse_name>>'s slack lips. [[Its eyes no longer focus.|Cotillion 3]]\n\n

Cotillion\n\nYou begin to carefully cut away its carapace to expose the milky nerve disc below. You remove the disc and set it on a small plate held by a nearby attendant. \n\n[[He places a lid on the plate and carries it to the judging platform.|Cotillion 4]]\n\n

Grand Staircase\n\nYour crewcut escort wilts in the presence of your massive, gleaming horse. <<print $horse_name>> has been carefully cleaned and detailed in your hours apart. \n\nIn the sight of the accumulated judges and television cameras, you pledge to treat <<print $horse_name>> with the [[full dignity of its species and according to all the customs of your people.|Promenade]]

Grand Staircase\n\nYou and the three remaining potential Horse Master candidates are escorted by DMOs in traditional dress uniforms and white gloves down the palatial Grand Staircase to your waiting horses.\n\nThe silver whistle around your neck gleams in the camera light. [[You smile as though joy is your only hobby.|Gala 3]]

Day <<print $day>>\n[img[apartmentday.png]]\n\n<<display "Horse Stats">>\nKeys in the lock. Landlord. Deputized Military Officers. Notice on orange papers.\n\nPreviously: your landlord was casual regarding rent and punctuality. You were certain you could ignore it until you won. Nope: DMOs and everything. \n\nTechnically, this is an animal-free building.\n\nThey seize your dexobrimadine bags from the fridge to sell to other desperates like yourself. One of the DMOs motions like he will shoot <<print $horse_name>>, and the landlord begs him not to ruin the flooring. \n\nHot shame tears. You grab a half-packed garbagebag and whistle for <<print $horse_name>> to follow before it goes worse. [[Your former landlord says he'll be rooting for you at the competition.|Disconnection]]\n\n\n\n\n \n\n

You size up other horses in line, trying to guess at House affiliation, looking for exotic breeds from factories in the Far West. One is barely a foal and the joint between its actual carapace and and a papier mache extension is an embarrassment that will fool no one. You see a Hellfist that's so malnourished it can barely stand in the humidity and gives off no glow. You see a gorgeous Europa that hasn't been fully broken by conditioning writhing and flexing and know it won't pass the preliminary rounds. \n\nThis is the first time <<print $horse_name>> has been around so many of its kind. It wants to ram into the other horses, it wants to dominate them, but it won't do so without your command. \n\nYou pick up your tote bag, name badge, and lanyard from a counter. The tote bag is filled with advertisements for luxury brands that want you to remember them fondly if you should win. There is a banana inside and you eat it. You also eat the two granola bars, never setting the bag down. \n\nYour loose molar comes free, as does the one next to it. You spit a mix of granola, raisins, blood and enamel into your palm and try to be nonchalant. What's funny is it doesn't even hurt. What's funnier still is trying to close your hand in a fist around the teeth because [[your fingers don't cooperate for a long time.|Preliminary Screening]] \n

<<silently>>\n<<set $showroom_wait = "yes">>\n<<endsilently>>\nThe loop has updated at least, so there's a brief twinge of novelty:\n\nANOTHER WIN FOR PASTA? IT COULD HAPPEN...SHOCKING PATRIOTISM TIPS THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T WHAT YOU TO KNOW...FREDERICK TO GIALLA: "MAYBE NEXT LIFE!"...REBEL LEADERS IMPOTENT, STUDY PROVES...\n\n[[The salesman notices your apathy.|Purchase]] "More like LAMEstream media, right?" he says.\n\n

The dexo has met your giddy excitement about purchasing your first horse and is making you second-guess everything. Did you remember to ask for everything and in the proper order? Is that why the salesman was so put off by you?\n\nLet's see, you wanted a:\n[[Furioso-Hellfist]]\n[[Europa Trotter]]\n[[Carolina Coffinbreath]]\n?\n\n\n\n

<<if $day eq 17>>You are so tired. Without a safe place to sleep and food to eat, you will only receive two actions per day. The free library is across town and will take most of the day to visit. Scavenging food and usable materials can also take a full day.<<endif>><<if $day eq 18>>You have a headache that stretches over your whole body. You could really, really use some dexobrimadine, but absolutely no one is going to give you any. Luckily <<print $horse_name>> is basically raised by this point.<<endif>><<if $day eq 19>>It's almost impossible to hide <<print $horse_name>> anymore. If you needed to ride it (Safety Note: NEVER ride a horse), you would now need a ladder to get on top of it. What's more it now oxidizes luciferins, causing the distinct horse steaming bioluminescence that is quite unsettling to humans on a primal level and makes it like sleeping directly under an extremely muscular streetlight slash blast furnace. <<endif>><<if $day eq 20>>You've made it this far, just a little further. The body is bad at distinguishing between the excitement of joy and the excitement of fear. You get chills that even <<print $horse_name>> can't warm. You keep losing the thread of your thoughts and then pulling hairs from your nose or scalp as you try to work your way around to remembering and then there is blood sometimes. If you can score some dexobrimadine at the Horse Master Competition, your heart might not explode.<<endif>>

This is the end of [[Horse Master.|Start]]\n\nComing Soon: Horse Master 2 — Centaur Master\n\nThank you for playing!\n\n[[Roll Credits]]\n\n\n

<<if $day_action gte 2>>\n[[Scavenge for edible waste products.|Scavenge]]\n[[Walk to the library to use a public computer to check stats.|Library]]\n<<endif>>\n[[Shoplift food|Shoplift]]\n[[Hose bath.|Bath]]\n[[Continue operant conditioning on horse.|Train]]\n[[Try to sleep.|Alley Night]]

Cotillion\n\nA giant video screen shows the overhead view of the plate. \n<<if $horse_uncanny gte $comp3_uncanny>>[[There is a moment of maximum suspense when the lid is removed.|Cotillion 5]]<<else>>[[There is a moment of maximum suspense when the lid is removed.|Cotillion Fail]]<<endif>>\n\n

Day <<print $day>>\n<html><img src="http://www.noncanon.com/2013/twine/apartmentday.png"></html>\n\nThe thing about Horse Mastering is that, once you get the hang of the basic physical tasks involved, it's basically just a giant game of spreadsheet management. The skill becomes chaining the right actions in order to maximize your efficiency and produce the best horse. Horse mastery means exploiting every action and every horse statistic. \n\nSo you got all the maximum combos off a Horse Mastery Internet forum and coded a series of macros to just let your computer apply your actions for you. And now <<print $horse_name>> is finally old enough to [[try it out.|Day]]

Cotillion\n\nThe five purple-red nerves form a perfect equilateral star pattern across the disc.\n\nThe audience erupts. The smiling judges must keep up appearances, so they shout for silence. The measuring equipment is laid out to check depth and thickness, but it's all theatre: Anyone with eyes can see you've won.\n\n[[You even get to shake hands with a state senator!|Awards Ceremony]]

Cotillion\n\nFor the final event, there can be no tricks. Biology and development have chosen the true winner long before tonight. All that remains is the reveal.\n\nIt is the purest expression of horse development and mastery.\n\nYou will go first. You whistle for <<print $horse_name>>. It stands. [[You regard each other with total certainty.|Cotillion 2]]

<<print $horse_name>> passed the preliminary judging round. Many horses don't, and interns are dragging those malformed corpses to the bonfire pit. \n\nThe staffer who checked in <<print $horse_name>> shakes your hand and welcomes you as an official competitor with a bottle of ice water. Your badge number is recorded, and you ask about getting a refill of your dexobrimadine prescription. "You know how crazy travel is," you say ([[you are still wearing the clothes you were evicted in and you've been sleeping in horse-piss-soaked garbage for a week|Hotel Medical]]).\n\n

Day <<print $day>>\n<<if $day_action eq 3>>\n[img[alleyday1]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 2>>\n[img[alleyday2]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 1>>\n[img[alleydaydusk]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 0>>\n[img[alleydaydone]]\n<<endif>>\n\nYou and <<print $horse_name>> have a little food. How do you want to divvy it up? \n\n[[Feed all the food to your horse.|All Horse]]\n[[Divide the food between the two of you.|Divided Food]]\n[[Eat all the food yourself|All You]]

Day <<print $day>>\n<<set $day_action=$day_action-1>>\n[[You do an action.|Day]]

<<if $day eq 1>>You listen and imagine you can hear your horse splishing in the tub. You sleep. [[Your dream is a dialtone that lasts all night.|Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 2>>Tomorrow's a big day. [[So far your plan is working.|NameDay]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 3>><<print $horse_name>> climbs on your chest to sleep. It has to knock this off, because soon it will be big enough to crush you if it tries this trick. [[Just for tonight, though?|Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 4>>Another restless half-sleep. <<print $horse_name>> seems excited, too. [[You're both excited, but probably for different reasons.|Spreadsheet]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 5>>You listen to <<print $horse_name>> breathe for a while and your mind drifts off. [[Then it's just morning all over again.|Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 6>>You lie awake for hours, absolutely certain this was a mistake. [[You are no Horse Master.|Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 7>>You run your hand across <<print $horse_name>>'s sleeping flank. This has been a hard day. You think about how these rich fuckers will never see you two coming. [[Your dream is something about snow.|Day]] <<endif>><<if $day eq 8>>The swelling hasn't gone down on your thumb. The nail is cracked. [[You sleep hard, clutching the bandaged hand to your chest.|Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 9>>You're developing a facial tic, almost like someone is twisting your left cheek. You try to smooth it out and hold it flat like a sheet on a bed. For some reason this makes you start remembering every person you've ever let down. The list is terrible even before it is comprehensive, but then: [[sleep.|Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 10>>You've eaten plain foods all day, and you kept everything down. Between that and <<print $horse_name>> responding to its name (just once), [[it's been a day full of accomplishments.|Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 11>>Would your father even recognize what you've become? Did he want this for you? Did he ever notice you enough to want something for you? [[What good are horses?|Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 12>>In any project, there is always a trough of enthusiasm. There is a lull. This lull is where doubt hunts you with the weapons of your own creation. Tonight, doubt tells you that even if <<print $horse_name>> is perfect, they will not let you win. You are not one of them. [[Given a choice, they will always choose themselves.|Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 13>>No food tasted good today. The utensils tasted like burning tires, but the food provided no sensation. [[A molar is loose.|Day]] <<endif>><<if $day eq 14>>You are very proud of <<print $horse_name>> this day. You are afraid that it will be taken from you now, that's how proud you are. When you are proud of what you have done, God will hurt you to remind you that it was actually God who did it. You can feel that God would like to take <<print $horse_name>> away from you. God playing a low tone on a whistle the length of a battleship and then taking his eye contact away forever. [[It is what you deserve.|Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 15>>You did not cry once today, even if you almost wanted to. So maybe you're probably getting the hang of the dexobrimadine? [[The dream of flesh-colored fish|Disconnection]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 16>>DAY ONE<<endif>><<if $day eq 17>>DAY ONE<<endif>><<if $day eq 18>>DAY ONE<<endif>><<if $day eq 19>>DAY ONE<<endif>><<if $day eq 20>>Morning means the [[Horse Master Competition]].<<endif>>

<<silently>>\n<<set $horse_have = "yes">>\n<<set $horse_spec="Europa Trotter">>\n<<endsilently>>\nOf course, a Europa Trotter, just like the first horse you ever saw. Maybe you're overly sentimental (most Horse Masters regard this breed as having poor hoof formation due to impure bloodlines), but a well-built Europa can still strum your wonderstrings. \n\nThey can range in color from #f9f9f9 to as dark as #646270, and their musculature, temperment and sheen can vary just as wildly, depending on how well-mastered they are.\n \n[[That's right, that's the horse I ordered.|Factory Showroom]]\n[[Wait, that's not what I said at all...|Specs]] \n

Cotillion\n\nThe five purple-red nerves form an asymmetrical star across the white disc.\n\nThe audience erupts in laughter. Counts and barons and brokers and designers. It can happen: Plenty of incredibly promising horses have failed by some misstep in their pasts, some small error. This is the drama. It has happened here. To you. \n\nYou wave to the cameras and give a courtesy nod.\n\n[[You can't be remembered as the one who cried.|Awards Fail]]

Schedule II drugs, substances, or chemicals are defined as drugs with a high potential for abuse, less abuse potential than Schedule I drugs, with use potentially leading to severe psychological or physical dependence. These drugs are also considered dangerous. \n\nSome examples of Schedule II drugs are: cocaine, methamphetamine, methadone, hydromorphone (Dilaudid), meperidine (Demerol), oxycodone (OxyContin), fentanyl, Dexedrine, Adderall, piloxophite, brinotyline (ConCussotine) and—of course—dexobrimadine,"[[The Horse Master's Lament|dexobrimadine]]."

undo:off\n

<<if $day gte 5>>\n<<if $day_action eq 3>>\n[[Run maximum efficiency horse stat growth macro.|EfficiencyMacro]]\n<<endif>>\n<<endif>>\n[[Inject Horse with Nutrients|Inject]]\n[[Feed Horse|Feed]]\n[[Electrostim Horse Apodemes|Electrostim]]\n[[Groom Horse|Groom]]\n[[Watch Television|Television]]\n[[Hang dexobrimadine drip and try to sleep|Night]]\n

Day <<print $day>>\n<<set $day_action=$day_action-1>>\nYou shoplifted a selection of shampoos and conditioners to help with grooming. Which do you apply this time?\n[[Revelry]]\n[[Shrike]]\n[[Grandeur]]

<<silently>>\n<<set $showroom_wait = "no">>\n<<endsilently>>\nThere is a reason this man is a horse salesman and not a Horse Master. Your father despised men like this.\n\nHe sighs, "They're spinning up the nutrient vat right now. [[Confirmation of your payment|Payment]] will trigger the fertilization process." \n\nHe slides a chipped glass PayPalm invoice to you. It glows on the brushed steel counter, waiting. Pregnant. \n\n[[A simple palmsplay and you'll own the new growth horse that will come to define your career. Your own legacy.|Purchase]]

Hotel Room\n\nFor the first time in days, you are present in the way that only people on dexobrimadine are present. The current moment swells up and up, and you see how you just might pull this off, but are stuck tethered to this bag of poison hanging from the closet.\n\nYou have plans. You have ideas about how you will carefully modify your gown just so. You can see a dozen more things you should have done with and for <<print $horse_name>>. First thing when you win, you'll get clean.\n\nThe drip you've waited for for days can't finish soon enough. [[You have so much left to do.|Gala]]\n\n<<silently>>\n<<set $comp3_glamour = (Math.floor(Math.random()*(($horse_glamour+5)-($horse_glamour-30))))+($horse_glamour-30)>>\n<<set $comp3_uncanny = (Math.floor(Math.random()*(($horse_uncanny+10)-($horse_uncanny-20))))+($horse_uncanny-20)>>\n<<set $comp3_pep = (Math.floor(Math.random()*(($horse_pep+5)-($horse_pep-30))))+($horse_pep-30)>>\n<<set $comp3_realness = (Math.floor(Math.random()*(($horse_realness+5)-($horse_realness-30))))+($horse_realness-30)>>\n<<set $comp3_discretion = (Math.floor(Math.random()*(($horse_discretion+5)-($horse_discretion-30))))+($horse_discretion-30)>>\n<<endsilently>>\n

"Fucking deviant," the salesman mutters as he locks the door behind you.\n\nYou leave the horse factory, still carrying the blue sphere of your horse with more care than it probably requires. It's late enough that you have to take two buses to get home. You're not dumb: You wrap the sphere in an old sweatshirt and put that old sweatshirt in a plastic bag. You try carrying it like you don't absolutely depend upon its contents to survive. You try to not draw any attention to yourself. \n\nThe rides are long. Longer still because individual moments are tending to balloon, you notice.\n\n[[You try to not be aware of every slow movement of the bus driver. You try not to be bored both now and in all the future permutations of soon-to-be-now that your dexo'd brain can retrieve. Bored+.|Home]]

REBEL GROUPS DEFEATED...PEACE RESTORED THROUGH STRENGTH OF MORALS...PRESIDENT: "LIFE IS A SUCCESSION OF DISAPPOINTMENTS"...LABOR SATISFACTION ALL-TIME HIGH...JOANNA'S BABY BUMP?...\n\nYou heard all this on the bus to the [[factory showroom|Factory Showroom]] anyway.

Day <<print $day>>\n<<silently>><<set $day_action=$day_action-2>><<set $scavenge = (Math.floor(Math.random()*6))+1>><<endsilently>>\n<<if $scavenge eq 6>><<set $day_action=$day_action+1>>Well, that was easy: Just as you were getting ready to climb in the dumpster of the Thai Cheeseburger place and start scavenging, the morning deliveries arrive. [[You easily stroll off with a giant package of fresh-baked buns.|Food Divvy]]<<endif>><<if $scavenge eq 5>><<set $day_action=$day_action+1>><<print $horse_name>> smashes the lock on a dumpster easily, the whole thing tips sideways. You grab the first bags that spill out and run from the commotion, laughing. There's good stuff here, mostly leftovers from last night's dinner service. [[No one chases you, you are alive and free.|Food Divvy]]<<endif>><<if $scavenge eq 4>><<set $day_action=$day_action+1>>You are pulling open bags behind the bakery, when a woman working inside brings you an entire bag of day old bagels and a small coffee. You are nearly overwhelmed. Then she tells you what the problem is with people like you. [[You have to just keep nodding, and you gather your horse and you go.|Food Divvy]]<<endif>><<if $scavenge eq 3>>After hours of searching, you finally find a dumpster behind a chain grocery store. They've sprinkled powdered bleach on the top of the food to deter people just like you, but if you dig deep enough, there's some produce that looks untouched (only a little rotted) [[It's something. You won't starve.|Food Divvy]]<<endif>><<if $scavenge eq 2>>You're out scavenging, but <<print $horse_name>> attracts too much attention. Do any of these guys know any of the guys who expect their money back? [[You can't be sure. You hide.|Alley Day]]<<endif>><<if $scavenge eq 1>>You hunt all day, but most dumpsters have already been picked over. Some DMOs harrass you and <<print $horse_name>>, and you run. [[You hide for hours, afraid to go out.|Alley Day]]<<endif>>

[[You]] have trained your whole life for this moment: the first step in becoming a [[Horse Master]].\n\nYou gotta buy a horse. [[Your own horse|Factory Showroom]].\n\n

Grand Staircase\n\nYou feel the best you've felt in weeks. You run your tongue over your front teeth to make sure none of them will come loose when it comes time for you to smile at the cameras.\n\nYou line up and meet your escort. You can hear the introduction of a state senator, and the end of his remarks.\n\n"Of course the current administration," he pauses to chuckle, "would have you believe our ways — the traditional ways, mind you — are barbaric. Well what is more barbaric: [[the nobility of the majestic horse|Gala 2]] or the tyranny of socialism?" \n\n

It's late when you get to your building. The tide of awareness: receded. \n\nThree flights up. A single room. You open the bag, then carefully unfold the sweatshirt.\n\nThere's a wet spot. You run your hands over the soft soft orb, back and forth. Nothing. You turn on the bathroom lights and hold it up. No leaks. Just condensation. Probably.\n\nYou fill the bathtub with room temperature water to float the orb in it, water rationing be damned. Even with the faucet on full, this takes almost a half hour.\n\nYou're so tired that you almost forget to hang your dexobrimadine drip before [[you nod off on the futon|Day]].\n<<set $day = 1>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Larva">>\n<<set $day_action = 3>>\n<<set $horse_glamour = (Math.floor(Math.random()*5))+1>>\n<<set $horse_uncanny = (Math.floor(Math.random()*5))+1>>\n<<set $horse_pep = (Math.floor(Math.random()*5))+1>>\n<<set $horse_realness = (Math.floor(Math.random()*5))+1>>\n<<set $horse_discretion = (Math.floor(Math.random()*5))+1>>\n<<set $debt = -300000>>\n<<set $horse_name = "horse">>

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Ruddy-cheeked, spittle-fingered, more than a little condescending. \n\n[[Back|Factory Showroom]]\n

You did find some old hamburger buns, but you fed them to <<print $horse_name>>. Luckily it had eaten solid foods before. \n\nYou probably didn't need to eat. [[Lately you've had trouble keeping food down.|Disconnection]]

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Dressage\n\nFor the second event, you must prove your total mastery of <<print $horse_name>>'s most primal instincts.\n\n[[You are presented with a small knife.|Dressage 2]] \n\n

Day <<print $day>>\n<<silently>>\n<<set $bonus1 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*4))+1>>\n<<set $bonus2 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*3))+1>>\n<<endsilently>>\nYou clip the pads to the ventral side of your horse. There's a short sizzling sound and a copper smell to the air. [[The horse is stimulated.|Day]]\nPep +<<print $bonus1>>\nRealness +<<print $bonus2>>\n\n<<set $horse_pep = $horse_pep + $bonus1>>\n<<set $horse_realness = $horse_realness + $bonus2>>

That salesman seemed to think you didn't know what you were talking about re: horses. Your father's legacy. The [[dexobrimadine]] tension skipping your molars against each other as could give off sparks. [[What is taking so long already|Factory Showroom]]?

[img[horsemaster]]\n<<silently>>\n<<set $horse_have = "no">>\n<<set $horse_spec = "no">>\n<<set $horse_stat = "0">>\n<<endsilently>>\nversion 2.01\n\n[[NEW GAME|First]]\n[[CREDITS|Roll Credits]]\n\n<script>\n (function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i['GoogleAnalyticsObject']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){\n (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),\n m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)\n })(window,document,'script','//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js','ga');\n\n ga('create', 'UA-36790335-1', 'auto');\n ga('send', 'pageview');\n\n</script>

Day <<print $day>>\n<<silently>>\n<<set $day_action=$day_action-1>>\n<<set $bonus1 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*4))+1>>\n<<set $bonus2 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*3))+1>>\n<<endsilently>>\nYou slide the needle into the main nerve bundle of your horse's central nervous system. It's a full cocktail of essential vitamins, nutrients, stimulants, and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. You got a full set of these injections from the pharmacist who provided the liberal allotments of dexobrimadine. [[Best not to dwell on how much it costs.|Day]]\nDiscretion +<<print $bonus1>>\nUncanny +<<print $bonus2>>\n<<set $horse_discretion = $horse_discretion + $bonus1>>\n<<set $horse_uncanny = $horse_uncanny + $bonus2>>

I'm [[@tommchenry|http://www.twitter.com/tommchenry/]] on Twitter or [[Machinery|http://machinery.tumblr.com/]] on Tumblr. I draw comics and publish a freeform newspaper called [[The Proof|http://www.proofnewspaper.com]].\n\nThis was the first game I ever made in [[Twine|http://www.gimcrackd.com/etc/src/]], which is an incredibly easy-to-use tool for making video games. You should try it out. You will surprise yourself. \n\n[[Here is the best tutorial on using Twine|http://www.auntiepixelante.com/twine/]]. It's by [[Anna Anthropy|http://www.auntiepixelante.com/]]. I think about [[her amazing and useful book|http://books.google.com/books/about/Rise_of_the_Videogame_Zinesters.html?id=nc3GRXqgPZ8C]] at least once a day.\n\n[[Here is the best list of other stuff to help you out when you think of it|http://aliendovecote.com/?page_id=4047]]. It's by [[Porpentine|http://aliendovecote.com/]], who made [[Bloody Princess Farmer|http://aliendovecote.com/uploads/twine/bloody%20princess%20farmer.html]], which got me thinking about how this game might work. \n\nMaking games is a better game than playing games.\n\nHorse Master would not be possible without [[Sara|http://www.twitter.com/yellowcardigan/]]'s campaign of enthusiasm for it. Special thanks also to everyone tweeting about [[#HorseMaster|https://twitter.com/search?q=%23HorseMaster&src=typd]] who kept me on task, even when they thought it was a prank.\n\n[[Horse Master Fun Lovers, Back to the Beginning Start Again Terrific|Start]]

Day <<print $day>>\n[img[apartmentday]]\n\nYou wake up to find your horse walking clumsy circles on the cold bathroom tile. It still flexes its gillflaps, but they're so much decoration, as it's now breathing through actual lungs (of a sort).\n\nThe stale nutrient bath makes your bathroom pungent. You drain the tub. \n\nYour little horse has lived through the larval phase. This is a great sign. You're finally confident enough to name it.\n\nYou cup the tiny pupal horse in both hands and you give it a name with a whisper:\n<<textinput $horse_name>>\n[["is what they'll call you."|Name Check]]

Night <<print $day>>\n[img[alleydaydone]]\n\n<<display "AlleyNightText">>\n<<set $day = $day + 1>>\n<<set $day_action = 2>>\n<<if $day eq 3>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Pupa">>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $day eq 5>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Foal">>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $day eq 8>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Weanling">>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $day eq 10>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Yearling">>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $day eq 12>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Tween">>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $day eq 14>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Pubescent">>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $day eq 18>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Adult">>\n<<endif>>\n\n<<set $horse_glamour = $horse_glamour-1>>\n<<set $horse_uncanny = $horse_uncanny-1>>\n<<set $horse_pep = $horse_pep-1>>\n<<set $horse_realness = $horse_realness-1>>\n<<set $horse_discretion = $horse_discretion-1>>\n<<set $debt = $debt - 200>>

Day <<print $day>>\n<<silently>>\n<<set $day_action=$day_action-1>>\n<<set $bonus1 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*3))+1>>\n<<set $bonus2 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*3))+1>>\n<<endsilently>>\nYou may be homeless, exhausted and starving, but <<print $horse_name>>'s obedience will be fundamentally important in the Horse Master Competition. And so you drill for hours. The whistle. The two tones.\n\n[[You train until you are too sluggish and disoriented to continue.|Alley Day]]\n<<set $horse_glamour = $horse_realness+ $bonus1>>\n<<set $horse_pep = $horse_discretion + $bonus2>>

.passage { width: 400px !important;}\n#sidebar { display: none !important;}\n#passages {border: none !important;}

Hotel Room\n\nYou don't sleep, you don't unpack, you don't shower, you just lick the port on your forearm and hang the dexy bag on the rod in the closet, and it is an ice cold river that numbs your arm and then blooms your whole face. [[You are blessed.|Up]]

For example, you are certain that:\n\n<html><em>The salesman will have entered from the far set of double doors. He will have had been chuckling at his private joke and will have—</em></html>\n\n[[And then:|Enter Salesman]]

Day <<print $day>>\n<<silently>>\n<<set $bonus1 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*4))+1>>\n<<set $bonus2 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*3))+1>>\n<<endsilently>>\nYou clip the pads to the dorsal side of your horse. There's a flash of current, some jitters, and you remember that this doesn't hurt the horse so don't think about it, [[okay?|Day]]\nPep +<<print $bonus1>>\nUncanny +<<print $bonus2>>\n<<set $horse_pep = $horse_pep + $bonus1>>\n<<set $horse_uncanny = $horse_uncanny + $bonus2>>

A master of horses. A coveted position (with tenure!) hard won in reward for excellence in horse mastery across all disciplines.\n\n[[Back|First]]

Day <<print $day>>\n<<if $day_action eq 3>>\n[img[alleyday1]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 2>>\n[img[alleyday2]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 1>>\n[img[alleydaydusk]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 0>>\n[img[alleydaydone]]\n<<endif>>\n\n<<if $horse_name neq "horse">>Name: <<print $horse_name>><html><br/></html><<endif>>Breed: <<print $horse_spec>>\nAge: <<print $day>>\nGrowth Phase: <<print $horse_phase>>\nGlamour: 404 ERROR - NOT FOUND\nUncanny: 404 ERROR - NOT FOUND\nPep: 404 ERROR - NOT FOUND\nRealness: 404 ERROR - NOT FOUND\nDiscrection: 404 ERROR - NOT FOUND\n\n<<if $day_action eq 0>>You've done all you can today. \n[[Try to sleep|Alley Night]]<<endif>><<if $day_action gt 0>><<display "AlleyDayText">>\nYou just have to keep you and <<print $horse_name>> alive <<print 21-$day>> more day<<if $day lt 20>>s<<endif>> until the Horse Master Competition. You have <<print $day_action>> action<<if $day_action gt 1>>s<<endif>> left today.\n<<display "Homeless Actions">>\n<<endif>>\n

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Night <<print $day>>\n[img[apartmentnight]]\n\n<<display "NightText">>\n<<set $day = $day + 1>>\n<<set $day_action = 3>>\n<<if $day eq 3>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Pupa">>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $day eq 5>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Foal">>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $day eq 8>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Weanling">>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $day eq 10>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Yearling">>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $day eq 12>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Tween">>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $day eq 14>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Pubescent">>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $day eq 18>>\n<<set $horse_phase = "Adult">>\n<<endif>>\n\n<<set $horse_glamour = $horse_glamour+1>>\n<<set $horse_uncanny = $horse_uncanny+1>>\n<<set $horse_pep = $horse_pep+1>>\n<<set $horse_realness = $horse_realness+1>>\n<<set $horse_discretion = $horse_discretion+1>>\n<<set $debt = $debt - 200>>

Day <<print $day>>\n<<set $day_action=$day_action-1>>\nThe fans hum as the electrostim powers up. To which end do you attach the electro pads?\n[[Dorsal]]\n[[Ventral]]\n

The staffer reconnects the ports and checks the numbers again. He calls a DMO over who confirms that the numbers are too low, then shoots <<print $horse_name>> in the main nerve cluster.\n\nYou help drag <<print $horse_name>>'s body to the incineration pile.\n\nMaybe you should have done more, should have gotten <<print $horse_name>> past the preliminary round, but then with your debts and your DTs, maybe you aren't much longer for this world yourself?\n\n[[End]]

Day <<print $day>>\n<<silently>>\n<<set $day_action=$day_action-1>>\n<<set $bonus1 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*4))+1>>\n<<set $bonus2 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*3))+1>>\n<<endsilently>>\nMany horses are raised to a professional caliber without ever eating solid foods in their entire lives. You probably shouldn't overdo it, but might give your [[horse the edge in realness it needs to win.|Day]]\nRealness +<<print $bonus1>>\nDiscretion +<<print $bonus2>>\n<<set $horse_realness = $horse_realness + $bonus1>>\n<<set $horse_discretion = $horse_discretion + $bonus2>>

<<if $horse_name neq "horse">>Name: <<print $horse_name>><html><br/></html><<endif>>Breed: <<print $horse_spec>>\nAge: <<print $day>>\nGrowth Phase: <<print $horse_phase>>\nGlamour: <<print $horse_glamour>>\nUncanny: <<print $horse_uncanny>>\nPep: <<print $horse_pep>>\nRealness: <<print $horse_realness>>\nDiscrection: <<print $horse_discretion>>\n

Day <<print $day>>\n<<silently>><<set $day_action=$day_action-2>><<set $lifter = (Math.floor(Math.random()*6))+1>><<endsilently>>\nYou and <<print $horse_name>> walk to the far end of the city. Its hooves are bothering it; they aren't accustomed to this much walking, especially on asphalt. You keep chirping the high on the whistle to keep its spirits up. When you arrive at the free library, you spend ten minutes petting it and keeping calming eye contact. It has lost weight since your eviction, as have you. \n\nYou signup for free access to one of the two public computers. <<if $library_visit eq "no">>[[You wait an hour for your turn.|Wrong Computer]]<<endif>><<if $library_visit eq "yes">>[[This time you are very specific about which computer you want to use and the clerk rolls his eyes|Right Computer]]<<endif>>

Day <<print $day>>\n<<silently>>\n<<set $day_action=$day_action-1>>\n<<set $bonus1 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*3))+1>>\n<<set $bonus2 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*3))+1>>\n<<endsilently>>\nThere is a hose behind the Thai Cheeseburger place. You spray <<print $horse_name>> down and the cold water causes it to rear up and tremble. You keep up and dodge to avoid its powerful hooves until it calms into the water temperature. A small river of accumulated grime runs off of it. Its shell gleams again in the sun.\n[[Good, clean horse.|Alley Day]]\n<<set $horse_glamour = $horse_glamour + $bonus1>>\n<<set $horse_pep = $horse_pep + $bonus2>>

Day <<print $day>>\n<<silently>>\n<<set $bonus1 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*4))+1>>\n<<set $bonus2 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*3))+1>>\n<<endsilently>>\nRevelry is the shampoo that used to come with marshmallows floating in it when you were a kid. It makes the sensitive skin around your fingernails burn as you work it in to your horse's mane.\nGlamour +<<print $bonus1>>\nPep +<<print $bonus2>>\n[[And rinse.|Day]]\n<<set $horse_glamour = $horse_glamour + $bonus1>>\n<<set $horse_pep = $horse_pep + $bonus2>>

[[The salesman]] left the factory showroom a few moments ago to talk to the foreman about incorporating some of [[your specifications|Specs]] into your horse.\n\nYou are alone with [[your thoughts]] while a scuffed plexiscreen buzzes [[some sun-faded government propaganda|Propaganda]].\n\n<<if $horse_have eq "yes">>\nYou are waiting on the completion of your custom-bred<html>&nbsp;</html><<endif>><<if $horse_spec eq "Carolina Coffinbreath">>Carolina Coffinbreath.<<endif>><<if $horse_spec eq "Europa Trotter">>Europa Trotter.<<endif>><<if $horse_spec eq "Furioso-Hellfist">>Furioso-Hellfist.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $horse_have eq "yes">>Sitting in one place for so long on the dexobrimadine is doing funny things with your [[sense of time passing/not passing|Time Passes]].<<endif>>

Though the FDA recommends no more than 6 mL administered nightly, the generally accepted wisdom in the professional Horse Master community is the so-called "Perfect Ten" (10 mL intravenous over an 6 hour period). \n\nAs of three days ago, you have graduated yourself to a professional pharmaceutical level. [[Let's do this|dexobrimadine]].

The moment you lift the blue orb, the underlighting flips off and the cylinder drops immediately back into the floor.\n\nYou heft it and it is warm and round in a perfect way. It has a fleshy give. A breast almost—no, but rubbery like a water balloon. \n\nYou are moving very. Slowly. Knowing what you have sacrificed to hold this little ball, knowing just how fresh into our world this frankfurter of life is—anyway, you are terrified to drop it. Break it. \n\n<html><em>You will clench your hand and the plasticized rubber bladder will rip and the foamy gravy will run down your fist and one scrape of your heel will make this horse a pink streak on the—</em></html>\n\n[[The salesman is holding the door open for you to leave.|Leave Showroom]]

The Promenade\n\nThis event is almost as boring for <<print $horse_name>> as it is for you. It continues to exist because it's relatively low-risk and allows spectators both here and at home to begin investing themselves in individual candidates before the real meat of the thing. \n\n<<print $horse_name>> passes the walk and the trot with no trouble. On the canter you can see it wants to go faster. There's a shocking moment where it breaks rhythm, but it passes. You've never really let it run at a full speed and there is so much power ready to do so, even now.\n\nYou can control it, though, and it kneels in all four directions. The knee divots left behind are within the half-degree margin of error. The crowd erupts.\n\nThe judges give you a 9.0. [[Easy.|Dressage]]

Sturdy, calloused, wind-blown.\n\n[[Back|First]]

Day <<print $day>>\n<<if $day_action eq 3>>\n[img[alleyday1]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 2>>\n[img[alleyday2]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 1>>\n[img[alleydaydusk]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 0>>\n[img[alleydaydone]]\n<<endif>>\n\nYou both have to eat if you're to have any chance surviving the Horse Master Competition. You set the food units and <<print $horse_name>> at one end of the alley and run to eat your own at the other while it is distracted. [[You eat barehanded and your hands get sticky.|Alley Day]]\n\n<<set $you_hunger = $you_hunger - 1>>\n<<set $horse_hunger = $horse_hunger - 1>>\n<<set $bonus1 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*3))+1>>\n<<set $bonus2 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*2))+1>>\n<<set $horse_realness = $horse_realness + $bonus1>>\n<<set $horse_discretion = $horse_discretion + $bonus2>>

The DMOs keep you in a holding cell for what is only supposed to be 12 hours. \n\nThe store winds up not pressing charges, but [[you can't afford to pay the exit processing fees to leave jail.|Prison End 2]]

<<if $horse_name neq "horse">>\n<<print $horse_name>>? [[A fine name.|Day]]\n<<else>>\n[[You must name your horse!|NameDay]]\n<<endif>>

You eventually get paid via the correctional system for doing menial tasks around the jail and barracks, but the jail developers have designed it so that you can never make enough money to pay back the exit processing fees and interest once they've subtracted room and board fees. \n\n[[You are the laughably inept criminal underclass to the DMOs and the debt rolls on and on.|Prison End 3]]

But <<print $horse_name>> is still out there somewhere. Growing still. No whistle guides it anymore.\n\nThey might bring down the thing you made, but they will never be able to un-see it.\n\n[[End]]

The Promenade\n\nThe first event is simple: Each candidate's horse must circle the judging grounds three times. One walk, one trot, one canter. The Horse Master candidate may only communicate using whistles and clicks. \n\nOn the final pass of each horse, its vital statistics are read aloud and the horse must kneel in each of the cardinal directions, symbolizing the submission of all horse under the unified nations of men.\n\n[[It's the sort of event that has no drama because any horse that couldn't easily pass this event never makes it by the preliminary screening rounds anymore.|Promenade 2]]\n\n

You fit the cables into the working ports, and get your first access to <<print $horse_name>>'s stats in a while:\n\n<<display "Horse Stats">>\n\nYou jot them down and compare them to your memory of your projected growth curves. It's still at least possible you'll pull this off.\n\nYou gather your things. You and <<print $horse_name>> walk all the way back home [[in the dusk|Alley Day]]\n\n<<set $library_visit = "yes">>

ExHubris

Between the cost of the animal-grade dexobrimadine (which you then cut with store-bought distilled water and a vitamin-heavy nutrient wash to keep your liver strong enough to process it all) and the cost of your <<if $horse_spec eq "Carolina Coffinbreath">>Carolina Coffinbreath<<endif>><<if $horse_spec eq "Europa Trotter">>Europa Trotter<<endif>><<if $horse_spec eq "Furioso-Hellfist">>Furioso-Hellfist<<endif>>, you've leveraged everything. \n\n[[You'll have some substantial loans come due once you become a Horse Master. Luckily, top Horse Masters essentially ascend from the cash-based economy to a place of pure grace and skill.|Salesman 2]]

Day <<print $day>>\n<<if $day eq 1>>...REPORT: PRAYER "MOST EFFECTIVE REMEDY" FOR MENTAL ILLNESS...PRODUCTIVITY AT NEW HIGH...PIP TO GREGG: "NOT LIKELY"...CHESTERTON 4-0 CHAMPS OVER MADISON...BANNER ADS MOST VALUABLE EXPORT...[[Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 2>>...THE INTERNET: OVERRATED?...NEW SOCIAL MEDIA SITE ALLOWS PROFILE CREATION...HENDERSON ON FLORES: "WHY NOT?"...SHOCKING NEW SUMMER JAM NOT AFRAID TO 'GET BUSY'...PRODUCTIVITY TIPS FOR THE PROCRASTINATOR...[[Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 3>>...NEW LAW COULD ENDANGER CHILDREN...GLESSEL, "NOT AT THIS TIME"...MEET THE COOL NEW HANDGUN THAT WILL SHOOT WHOEVER YOU POINT AT...PRESIDENT PROPOSES NATIONAL DAY OF CLICKTHROUGH SERVICE...[[Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 4>>...FOUR DEAD IN FED RAID ON UNSANCTIONED HORSE MASTER LEAGUE...STUDY:FAX MACHINES ARE BACK IN A COOL WAY!...RATINGS FOR DRAMATOWN DIP IN SEASON 2...SCIENTISTS: "SOME BLEEDING LIKELY AS GDP INCREASES"...[[Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 5>>...REVENGE ON HENRY FORD? HORSE SALES OUTSTRIP CARS FOR THIRD YEAR...NEW STUDY REVEALS WHAT YOUR TEENS AREN'T TELLING YOU...KIDNAPPING NIGHTMARE STRETCHES INTO 140TH DAY...WEEKEND BOX OFFICE NUMBERS SHOW COMEDIES AREN'T JUST FOR KIDS ANYMORE...[[Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 6>>...AERIAL PESTICIDE DROPS ON MAJOR CITIES EXPECTED TO SLOW INFESTATION...PRESIDENT APPOINTS NEW HEAD OF MICROMANAGEMENT AND OBFUSCATION...MEET THE STAR OF A HILARIOUS NEW VIRAL VIDEO CURRENTLY IN PRODUCTION...NEW LAW FORBIDS QUALITY OF LIFE RESEARCH...[[Day]]<<endif>><<if $day eq 7>>...HOW ONE WRITER TURNED HIS HOBBY INTO A CAREER...TRAILER FOR FALL'S MUST-WATCH NEW SHOWS...POLICE OFFICIAL: "MASS GRAVE" IS JUST A BUNCH OF NORMAL GRAVES THAT GOT JUMBLED UP......[[Day]]<<endif>><<if $day gte 8>>It's just white noise now. You couldn't afford cable once you started on the higher dosage of dexobrimadine, and they've finally cut off service. [[Electricity will be the next to go.|Day]]<<endif>>\n<<set $day_action=$day_action-1>>\n<<set $horse_glamour = $horse_glamour+1>>\n<<set $horse_uncanny = $horse_uncanny+1>>\n<<set $horse_pep = $horse_pep+1>>\n<<set $horse_realness = $horse_realness+1>>\n<<set $horse_discretion = $horse_discretion+1>>

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Day <<print $day>>\n<<silently>>\n<<set $bonus1 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*4))+1>>\n<<set $bonus2 = (Math.floor(Math.random()*3))+1>>\n<<endsilently>>\nShrike smells like just soap. It is the shampoo and conditioner combination of realness. When you are a Horse Master you will never, ever use Shrike on yourself again.\nGlamour +<<print $bonus1>>\nRealness +<<print $bonus2>>\n[[And rinse.|Day]]\n<<set $horse_glamour = $horse_glamour + $bonus1>>\n<<set $horse_realness = $horse_pep + $bonus2>>

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Preliminary Screening\n\nYou lead <<print $horse_name>> to the Preliminary Screening Area. Deputized Military Officers with powerful rifles and laser blades surround this area. Full-grown horses are incredibly valuable if stolen and incredibly dangerous if loose, so the DMOs must protect smooth order in all directions.\n\nA convention staffer hands you ports to plug into <<print $horse_name>>. Its stats blink up on a screenburned laptop:\n\n<<display "Horse Stats">>\n<<set $horse_rating = ($horse_glamour + $horse_uncanny + $horse_pep + $horse_realness + $horse_discretion)/5>>\nOverall Rating: <<print $horse_rating>>\n\n<<if $horse_rating lte 30>>\n[["Ooh, this is gonna be a problem," the staffer says.|Prelim Fail]]\n<<else>>\n[["Whew, nice numbers," the staffer says.|Prelim Pass]]\n<<endif>>\n

[[Schedule II controlled substance]]. The nightly drip is essentially a job requirement for the mastery of horses in order to react with an almost unconscious speed to their powerful movements and keep yourself alive for continued mastering of horses. Now that you're striking out on your own, you've upped [[the dosage to a professional level|dosage]], hence your [[obnoxiously clattering teeth all morning|Factory Showroom]].

You made it. \n\nYou are a Horse Master.\n\nYou never have to (and never can) work again.\n\nThe world is sick and ugly, but at least you made it through okay. You did exactly what was expected of you. Good for you! The life your father always wanted.\n\nNow you might even ask what kind of life you would have wanted, but it is too late to ever want again.\n\n[[End]]

Night 19\t\nYou hold up your hand and <<print $horse_name>> stops. Retail Experience Coordinators lay elaborate gowns, shoes, headdresses, buckles, suspenders, chaps, girdles, at your dirty feet in silent tribute. The night wealthy are transfixed. \n\nYou gather what you will and click your tongue. You and <<print $horse_name>> melt [[divots in the street.|Alley Day]]

Night 19\t\n\nYou parade <<print $horse_name>> uncovered down the street for the first time. Cars must swerve around it. Its carapace glows. Its eyes glow. Here is a madness given form that is mostly under your control. [[The threat is implied and inferred.|Couture Heist 3]] \n\n

Day <<print $day>>\n<<if $day_action eq 3>>\n[img[alleyday1]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 2>>\n[img[alleyday2]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 1>>\n[img[alleydaydusk]]\n<<endif>><<if $day_action eq 0>>\n[img[alleydaydone]]\n<<endif>>\n\nTechnically, <<print $horse_name>> doesn't need real food. Horses can often live off a combination of photosynthesis and enzyme breakdown for weeks. Of course, it's not optimum, but neither is you starving until you aren't able to compete. [[You whistle for it to stand at the other end of the alley and eat, watching it always with a wary eye.|Alley Day]]\n\n<<set $you_hunger = $you_hunger - 2>>\n